Lost Roads

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2015-01-01T11:20:00.000+02:00

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Another Home

2012-01-25T20:14:00.002+02:00

To come back to my mother’s house, our house of so many years and this time close it down for the last time, was emotionally trying. Can I compare such an event to moving her into assisted living? Probably not. Both were incredibly trying in their own way.

Moving mom into assisted living was the right thing to do. She was languishing in her home, and since she was no longer able to drive, found herself stuck there without human contact. In fact, besides phone calls, she was without a great deal of human contact and resigned her interactions to that she had with the t.v. or the many phones calls from Peter and to a lesser degree me.

I asked a question on FB and it basically went, “Do these things find me or do I find them?” I asked this for I kept coming upon important or interesting family photos, letters and documents that had a great deal of meaning in as far as my life is concerned. My last four days at 25 Brownleigh found me spending up to 10 hours a day sorting, reading, and organizing. It began to have an unsettling feeling on my brain. I wondered how much I had become me on my own, and how much I was part of this genetic plan that was more clearly delineated as I read more-and-more of these historical Margolis documents.

I think over these days, I have learned just how much my mother and father loved one another. I don’t believe I ever realized just how significant and wonderful their love for one another was. Reading a good deal of what appeared to be their daily correspondence, which kept up for several years during the 40’s (!), I found that they had so many dreams and hopes for the future, yet also a deep and emotional desire for the present. This is important to recognize as we sometimes put too much of our energies into the future when in fact our focus is better served in the here and now. Seize the day and certainly seize the moment(s).

I was saddened though not very surprised, that after all these years we are still unable to get along with our brother Steve. I read so many letters that he wrote, or that I wrote, or those by my father lamenting one bad choice after another that he made. We spent so much of our time and energy trying to figure out a way to keep him from destroying our family and even now so much effort has to be put into this endeavor. I would like to chalk all of this up to merely a difference of opinion, but it is a difference of lifestyle, respect and approach to living. I am again forced to realize that one chooses their roads and that bad luck, if there be such a thing, is transient and though unexplainable things do happen and sadden us greatly, there appears to this 54+++ year old that a great deal of choice in which we firmly have hold of the rudder, exists.

So this is the end of a long journey. I leave my childhood house for the last time and now sitting here in the airport in New Jersey, recognize that nothing stays the same nor can it be expected to. I wish my mother some great years at Chatfield and hope that she makes many friends and has numerous good times with all of us. I hope that she in fact learns to love her life there and that everything will turn out nice for all of our families.

2012-01-01T09:04:00.002+02:00

Click here to go to my photography site where you can purchase prints.

We Hug

2011-12-31T06:03:00.002+02:00

We Hug (Final day of my fourth year at Hippocrates)

We hug

Not for the tomorrows

Not for the todays

But for pieces of yesterday

Hoping to restore a semblance

Of the past

That might not have looked

So good when it was the present

But from this vantage point

Now seems so golden

We hug

For the strength to understand

That we can change

Our way of thinking

Our way of living

All the intricacies

Which are suddenly crystal clear

And have manifested themselves

Within our grasp should we choose

To extend our arms just a little further

We hug

Not to comfort ourselves

But to comfort others

Forgetting our own needs for just a minute

Realizing that we have something more to offer

Than just a nod, or a kind word

Something that only physical contact

Seems to truly convey

We hug

Not knowing if we will ever see one another again

Not knowing if we will have the opportunity to cross paths

Tell stories

Share our wisdom

Or sit silently together in wonderment

We hug

With a passion that is palpable

Deep into our inner core

Having seen the love of a mother caring for her daughter

The strength of men and woman

Who have been battle scarred

But not defeated

We hug

Without a dry eye

Without embarrassment of what others might think

Caring only in this moment that it might last forever

And that things will change

Things must change

We hug

Because we are human

Because we know

That this action in some way

Truly defines us

Truly makes us understand

The significance of why we

Were here in the first place.

Taking the Plunge!

2011-11-01T20:48:00.000+02:00

Oh my! I deactivated my Facebook account and will only activate it when I travel or on monthly visits. Why you ask? Well, I found/find that the content on FB is far too facile for me (and I say this not because I am an intellect, for I am not, but that people don't appear to put much effort into creative postings). I also found that I was spending far too much time thinking about witty one liners to include on FB when in fact I am devoid of witty one-liners!

I also need to get back to what I love most and that is writing poetry. Thus, I hope that my thirty poems will finally be a completed project and that I can create a blurb book of poetry and photos. I am certainly getting close to that number, but I never thought it would take so long!

30 + Days/30 Poems

2011-06-18T15:11:00.000+03:00

I have lost a piece of me and though I love Lost Roads, I never intended to lose anything essential. Thus, 30+ Days/30 Poems is an attempt to find a few of the missing pieces that lay tattered in the nooks and crannies I've neglected. From February 19 to Whenever (I am working though to make "whenever" not never). I will try to write one unedited poem per day (try is the key word here). It will be written on this blog without any rough draft, notes, or outline. They will be short and to the point. They will be unknown to me until they are finished.

The Big Happy

2011-03-16T20:18:00.001+02:00

The Big Happy

Over time I danced the Big Happy

On both my left feet

Balanced tenderly at the point

Where up can no longer be sustained

But down has yet to be reached.

All this cosmic dust is starting to blind us

Well it’s blinding me

Massive tectonic plates are shaking off their rust

Yawning majestically like spent children

Shaking like puppies after their first baths.

But it’s after the half-way point

After the last turn on your way home

All the signs were taken down

So you forgot how you’ve gotten here

Yet it’s not magic

Not luck

Not an unequal equilibrium

That got this mess moving in the first place.

It’s you

It’s me

It’s our silence and contentment

With the Big Happy

That engulfs our senses

Sucks our marrow

Freezes us like quicksand in slow motion

It’s you

It’s me

Rushing off for another trial run

Trying to get the Big Happy

One more time

One last time.

Two Photos from Saturday

2011-03-05T22:07:00.000+02:00

I was taking photos of these trees when this group of Gazelles showed-up. One must always be prepared when a group of Gazelle show-up thus I was able to fire off a few photos.

Star of David on an old Ambulance. This was easier than the photo above...it did not move.

Bit of Commentary

2011-01-09T00:31:00.001+02:00

First: I wrote an article about our experiences with cancer and the recovery from this. You can click HERE to view the article.

Second, just went to Youtube and viewed the video by the alleged killer in Tuscan (I refuse to post his name as I don't want to really give him any free publicity). If he did these shootings and killings, then he is going to fry in the Arizona heat. What amazes me, however, is what others are posting on Youtube under his name. I am sure in a few hours this will be frozen, and some have already been deleted, but I can't believe the amount of racism and insensitivity I am seeing. One person congratulated him for killing a "jew" and then used a derogatory term in reference towards Mexican Americans whom were support by another victim of his rampage. Are we so sick in this world that we can only solve our differences by murder? What a sad commentary in fact.

Going...

2010-12-17T10:19:00.000+02:00

Wow! Another long journey in just a day from now. How lucky, how fortunate I am to be going back to Hippocrates Health Institute! We keep trying. I keep perfecting how to grow the things that we are told are essential. Sprouts, and sprouts, and sprouts are always being juiced at the Margolis house. Slowly, I learn a new recipe here and there. We deviate, and then we come back. E is so much better at this than me, thank-G-d.

Though I would much rather be taking an adventure, I will also go to Connecticut. There is an obligation one has to his parents. This obligation, however, is fraught with frustration as the language of truth has gotten so distorted. Thus, the need to be open and honest, right from the start, is ever so essential. But do we really ever want to hear the complete truth? Sometimes, it seems, the fantasy or the illusion of endless time on this planet, drives us unmercifully. Being left alone on this planet is so sad too. It's funny, one of my greatest fears is for nameless animals being left alone.

Thus, this leads me to Forrest. She is perhaps the most sensitive animal that I know. However, I always said that about Candy. I wonder, that as we get to know our animals better, we learn how amazingly intelligent and intuitive they really are. The capacity to understand us and in fact understand their surroundings, stuns me.

So, to end this going, going, gone piece, I hope that something will change for the positive in this world. I dream of a world in which our leaders do what is right for the people and are not immersed in schemes to line their pockets. I dream of a Palestinian state living next to ours in a true peace that is not contentious in any manner and a free Gaza in which the weapons of war and hate have been set aside. My fervent and ever naive desire is that we have figured out a way for those who are in the W. Bank can live their lives there and pursue their religious desires. May our lakes run clearer, our car cleaner, and may all of us travel in safety.

2010-11-17T01:10:00.000+02:00

Prayer bells in Florida...

2010-11-17T01:08:00.000+02:00

I should have gone to sleep
Should have stopped thinking
Stopped reading
Stopped wasting so much time
Instead I am writing
Watching the hours slip slowly
Into a time when I need to awaken
To start again
And wonder why
I didn't go to sleep

Yarkon Park Observations

2010-11-13T19:05:00.000+02:00

1. The faster you go, the harder you brake (on a Saturday afternoon with all the people.
2. Al Ah Esh rules (not a RAW crowd)
3. It is one of the best parks for a hard workout
4. The Yarkon still stinks
5. Dogs off their leash are dangerous
6. Kids on their father's lap driving electric cars are dangerous
7. Friends suddenly appear
8. Friends get flats
9. Friends don't always know how to change their flats (Ha!)
10. It is great to ride after the sun goes down as well-you feel like you are going faster
11. A lot of people are in love
12. 64KM in which almost two hours was a constant grind, then 16 minutes of sprints (30 sec each) every 1.5 minutes, and finally a Tabata cycle, makes for a great workout.

2010-10-30T20:47:00.000+02:00

FB is Dangerous

2010-10-24T22:56:00.000+02:00

I need to look more carefully at what I say and what I write. I have concluded that FB is very dangerous for one's health as the comments you commit yourself to, are suddenly there and far too obvious for others to suppose upon. Even if you are just quickly venting, it appears that your jabs which might not have been your true thoughts, are grossly exaggerated in that venue. I think blogs are safer. At least I can go back and edit and lord knows this one is ever so anonymous.

Sick...

2010-10-03T17:00:00.000+02:00

How many days can one remain sick? I've been fighting this cold for well over a week. Seems to have a life of its own and it comes and goes like a dog through one of those cute doggy doors. What a pain this is proving to be. For the past two night, as midnight approaches, I have developed this cough that has been almost strong enough to burst my ribs from their moorings (are ribs actually moored?). This is has just got to stop already!

Went to Better Place today. You've got to see what they are doing to truly appreciate this wonderful electric car that will be on the market next year. Way to go Shai as you are leading the world and reducing our dependence on fossil fuels.

Three Barges in Amsterdam

2010-08-28T18:31:00.003+03:00

Saturday Ride

2010-08-28T15:57:00.000+03:00

1:05.31 to School this morning. I think that's about the fastest I ever did this trip. On and off-road of course, and averaged 28.4. Total 30.97 Average cadence 86/Average temp 30/Heart Rate 136/ Was truly enjoyable to have this amount of energy for the first part of the ride. The second part, another 43.67 K, was more sedate. Threw in 10, 30 second intervals. Then did traffic light sprints in Tel Aviv. Average temp for the second part was 35. Can't wait for a little cooler weather.

From A Son

2010-08-27T11:54:00.000+03:00

It has been 26 years today. You were now alive almost as long in my life as you have been dead. What a strange number this is.

There are a good number of positive things that you passed on to me (negative too but this is not the time or place to list them!). Here are just a few as your candle burns significantly on my counter at home:

1. You taught me to value the well-written word, phrase, passage, and extended text.
2. Books are important
3. Nature can be found in your backyard.
4. Grow things
5. Believe in yourself it is not important in the end run what others say about you. Define who you are via your actions and integrity.
6. Read the manual
7. Understand that you are no better than anyone you meet or deal with.
8. Work hard

2010-08-25T22:27:00.000+03:00

The power of PS. I took out an annoying plug to the right and there is nothing to show. It once ruined the photo. Now it is gone. Very helpful.

2010-08-23T23:28:00.007+03:00

Navigation

I know that you are crazy

Crazy as a loon

Crazy as a loon on Spencer Pond

The one who somersaulted off the rock

And splashed a feeding moose

Into submission

You are crazy

Since we were kids

Since the time you pushed me over a cliff

Into the quarry near Old Lyme-

I still have a scar from the fall

Yet you embellished your crazy

Sending out postcards announcing and then denouncing it

Making us all think that you had it all together

Arriving in adulthood

With milk white eyes

Like a cow gone mad

We have all seen you crazy

Ran from you when you came calling

Late at night

Or those early morning chats you tried to

Have on our cell phones

We have all gotten together

And taken a pledge

Never to allow your craziness

To bring us to our knees

Or put wind into our sails

And set us off course
Ever again.

2010-08-23T23:17:00.000+03:00

Turn Arounds, Cut-Offs, No Shows

2010-08-17T20:10:00.000+03:00

Hey is it your birthday today?

No reply
Turned around
Never answered
Questioned

Rude response

So, this student might benefit if...

Interrupted
Upstaged
Overpowered

End of day meeting:

Boring as the 5th July
Department missing
Boring as the 2nd of January

Really Boring

2010-08-15T22:58:00.000+03:00

Baltic Sky

2010-08-15T22:57:00.000+03:00

Saco-I do love you...

2010-08-15T22:54:00.000+03:00

Bike in Amsterdam

Having Been Away

2010-08-15T22:49:00.000+03:00

How crazy I have been to neglect the written word as I have. I have been Face Booking far, far too much. Writing in couched words and phrases. Holding back on expletives in the pursuit of being proper. Caring too much about the impression I might make on who I know instead of writing about what I know. How foolish has that been. But there is tomorrow, and I am lucky for that. There is today and I am thankful. There are so many yesterdays that I can reflect upon. I love you my American dysfunctional family in my own way, though I tire of your antics. I love you my Israeli family. How I ever deserved any of you I will never quite understand.

Final days of summer please go slowly (but please get a bit cooler).

The Last Goldfish

2010-03-22T21:18:00.003+02:00

They carried off the last goldfish today

Unceremoniously and in the morning hours

Before the children would be in

To see its orange body plucked swiftly

And dangled in a net

By a worker with the crack of his ass

Unsheathed to the world

Two years ago

-Just two years ago-

This man made pond swarmed with goldfish

They darted around plants

Pulsated as a well-choreographed team

Drifted like wildebeest on a Serengeti Plain

They carried off the last goldfish today

Wrapped it in a plastic bag and tossed

It into the trash

The pond was empty

The plants swayed as they did yesterday

The filters slowly sucked the water

Deep into their cores

The children walked by not noticing that the pond was empty

Rushing off to class

Or to play

Unaware that a last anything had ever been there

It was just another day

And more important things were taking place

Lessons were being taught

Plans were being made

They carried off the last goldfish today

Emptied the little trash into the bigger trash

Then got in their cars and drove home

Not thinking about this one goldfish who

Had swum alone for over a week

Slowly, forlornly, seeking bits of food

From a denuded landscape

Sometimes I ask myself who is responsible

For what I see happening around me

I feel Culpable

Like an accomplice in a global movement

That creates entitlements for my species

At the expense of all others

They carried off the last goldfish today

With no last words, without any regret

And I went home thinking

That if we can’t take care of the last goldfish

Then maybe we didn't deserve any in the first place.

Wow-Wow Dancing

2010-01-28T21:12:00.003+02:00

The Wow-Wow Dance
For Eva and Forrest

Some of us were born
Doing the Wow-Wow Dance
Up early
Before the sun
With a bite of cold
Slinging our packs
Onto our backs
Lacing our shoes tight
Finding a peak
To watch the clouds go
From black, to blue, to orange, to red

Some of has have learned
Far later in life
To do the Wow-Wow Dance
Fortunate enough
To be open minded
Lucky enough to be around
Experts who knew
How to step through mine fields
Like silken ballerinas
Holding hands and twirling slowly
With smiles on their faces

Some of us will die
Doing the Wow-Wow Dance
Begging for another chance
Wanting to get up early again
To feel the cold
To taste our sweat on that early morning climb
Thinking of friends that we have lost
But will now see again
Knowing that our dances
Our enthusiasm
Our lust for life
Is all we ever had
Is all we ever needed

2010-01-21T21:38:00.000+02:00

2010-01-21T19:02:00.001+02:00

Those Chilly Winds

2009-12-29T14:39:00.002+02:00

As the winds blow and the trucks buzz by
The clouds are roiling in the sky
Caught in paroxysms of undefining winds
Which reshape them them as they roll
Endlessly towards the Atlantic

Our lives are unfolded now at this point
We have lived too long
Too long to have them neatly organized
Tagged and shelved
Too long to summarize them
In succinct sentences

Our lives are a criss crossing of roads and byways
Scarred hides of caribou
A Knossos labyrinth

These chilly winds
Blow down from Canada
I am neither cold nor stunned with their arrival
They are only chilly winds

On Heading To The States

2009-12-15T19:52:00.002+02:00

Sometimes it feels ever good to be headed "home." Regardless of the time that I have spent here in Israel, the last 20 years, I will always feel that "home" is Connecticut. Home is New England. Home is the deserts of Utah and Arizona. Home is Colorado and its mountains as well as it's deserts and vast plains. There are so many "homes" in the U.S. that are tattooed upon my heart and though there are aspects of this country that I consider "home" too, I suppose the vastness of the states just overwhelms. Regardless, I have a two-week respite and who could ask for more.

2009-12-12T07:19:00.001+02:00

Heroes as cowboys? Perhaps Willie did get it right and his conveyance/admittance that cowboys, like all of us, are not perfect, thus what we have in common is substantial. Why am I even thinking about this? Well, after reading about Tiger I got to thinking that we held this highly personal man up on a pedestal based purely on marketing molds which were carefully shaped and carefully edited. We didn’t, don’t nor will we ever know this guy nor should we even try. His business, his problems, are not really any of our concern. And now he’s a cowboy.

2009-11-07T07:03:00.002+02:00

All is fine...Forrest rests here on the couch. Eva sleeps late. We are off to a walk this morning. Slovenia in a few weeks where Eva will work. Next week sale of photos and jewelery. New recipes in the making and some in the refrigerator. Never stop learning. Never stop growing.

2009-10-25T16:19:00.001+02:00

Lyrics

2009-10-25T16:16:00.003+02:00

Kenny White is a wonderful, wonderful songwriter that I stumbled upon. He truly is amazing and I am including lyrics to one of his songs here: (also go to his site and listen to his ballads at: http://www.kennywhite.net/player/player.htm)

5 Girls

kw…piano

Five girls leaning on the bar tonight
Five tattoos at the small of their back
Since when has our skin become a canvas
I want to ask the one with the cellophane back pack
Yeah and I think that I might tell her that she’s
looking like a billboard
With that shirt that is cute,
but oh, so inappropriate for the season
Instead I drag my hand across the bar
and grab my keys and walk away
But you can’t be crucified
for the things that you don’t say

There’s something going down on 7th Avenue
Some dude handcuffed and down on his knees
These boys couldn’t be less interested
A bunch of Kojak wannabes
Yeah, well you could shave your head and suck a
lollipop and still end up a traffic cop
Trying hard tonight to choose between
the Chocolate Glaze and Boston Cream
But you can’t be crucified
for the things that you don’t dream

He’s lost in austerity in his forty-story tower
Rolling in prosperity and grateful for his power
He’s no maverick but sleeps just fine
And he once told me if he said no ten times
He’d be right at least nine

I said, Hey
If Edison had said no
If Jonas Salk had said no
If Debussy had said no
If Jesus Christ had said no
If Willie Mays had said no
If Shakespeare had said no
If Sigmund Freud had said no
I’ll tell you where we’d be
We’d be sick and in the darkness
With no one to inspire us
And nothing on TV
And even less in the fridge
We’d be blaming dad for everything
And not even have our Sundays off to barbeque
But you can’t be crucified
for the things you don’t do

So you might as well put it on the line once in awhile
Maybe leave something more than ashes in a pile
You got a brain, You got style
So you might as well put it on the line once in awhile
Yeah well, I forgot my glasses
So it’s back to that bar I go
Another chance to tell that girl
She shouldn’t let a stranger
stick a pen into her ass
But no, instead of being helpful
I realize what I really want to do
Is see the whole tattoo
Trace it with my lips
Erase it with my tongue
Finger paint the remaining Chinese alphabet
With the hot fudge I saved from Boule Bakery
that took a month to get a reservation
Plus I didn’t know I had to slip Pierre a fifty
not to be put next to the bathrooms
with the pictures of the little hen
and rooster on the door
Now I found my glasses
And instead of fessing up
I catch her eye and give a half way smile
and mumble something
about an early day
But you can’t be crucified
for the things that you don’t say

2009-10-18T23:13:00.001+02:00

Oh what a day. Oh what a hike. First day of summer 2009 in the French Alps.

2009-10-18T23:10:00.000+02:00

Barn in Vermont. No, of course there is not a ounce of manipulation here. No combined images in HDR, no tweaking in PS. Oh, been selling swampland...

2009-10-08T22:14:00.004+02:00

I think that the economic crisis is ever so confusing. Check out the prices of the King David Hotel in J-Town. "Cheap" rooms are close to $700. Are they crazy? Who do they cater too and what can be so great to make it worth such a fee? Hey, I love the ambiance there and the food, but come on guys.

Geeze, some days I feel like I really don't have anything to say. Here I am listening to Judy Collins on Wolfgang's vault which is ever such a cool site. Love their concerts and the variety is just so outstanding. Though live concerts do lack some quality, they have other components that studio music is so often missing.

Got a letter from our board of education the other day. We are operating this year and next at 6% less. We were told that we would freeze our expenditures. We were promised, last spring, feedback on our concerns and until yesterday had not received this! Basically we were misdirected in this letter and led to believe that our severance and not the school's mismanagement were to blame. However, we had a carrot dangled in front of us like crack in front of a corner junkie and told that when certain benchmarks are met we could then discuss proper compensation for us. In the meantime, we need to do our job and keep a stiff upper lip (okay some of this was not said). In two-weeks I once again have three nights of chaperoning (I'd like to call it baby sitting but I do respect most of the students), and need to make sure that these 11th graders follow the school rules. Basically, I need to be a cop. I hate, hate, hate being put in this position. Most of the time kids have been mellow, but there are times when they really do push the limits. It gets old. I am getting old. I am getting tired of all nighters needed in order to keep them in their rooms and out of trouble.

Well, I guess I did have a bit to say. Need to finish the 30 poems though. Can't write at that level tonight. Bye...

Bike Rides and Odious People

2009-10-04T12:58:00.002+02:00

Somewhere in the muddle to the right is this morning's workout. Bit over two hours. Started off at 73 degrees and ended up at 90. Lap times were really good and longer course went (five laps each of about 2.5 miles) from 9:21 down to 8:32). Shorter course, the one with the nasty hill, had a few under 8 minutes which is always a challenge. 8:46 down to 7:46. I did a ride, with a fellow teacher on Friday in a great area about an hour north of Netayna. Did about 12 miles, kind of slow, but enjoyed the sounds of a wedding (?) in a town in that region being held outdoors. Found some nice climbs and a wonderful valley filled with agriculture. How sad that the river that goes through it is so polluted and the plastic thrown in the picnic areas is so prevalent.

Oh...got flamed (is that the right term?) on Facebook. The woman misinterpreted what I had written and then went on to say some pretty horrible things. Being me, I responded as forcibly as my little brain would allow. Alas, I was messing with a Ivy League Lawyer who had an answer for everything and justfied her inappropraiteness. Thus, seared and battered I retreated. However...she can't see this posting so as they said in that wonderful Monty Python movie, "I fart in your general direction." And I do!

J

Yom Kippur

2009-09-27T19:05:00.003+02:00

So, another Yom Kippur is here. It is, in some ways, the day of bike riding for all the people who never really get a chance to ride. The reality here is that the roads are far, far too dangerous to ply by those who never ride on a regular basis. There is no on the job training that prepares one for the boneheads who insist on cutting you off or fail to register that red really does mean stop and that the physics of an automobile, being what it is, has a definite advantage over a bike with a human on it.

So, the roads are filled tonight. Kids on bikes, people walking, the sound of them rises to a crescendo by about 10 or 11 o'clock tonight. It picks up again around 10 in the morning tomorrow.

Though I usually fast, I did consider doing this as a juice fast. However, after making us a large juice this morning, I ended up doing far too many things and never got around to buying some of the other ingredients that I need (cucumbers). From what I am learning, fasting releases a ton of toxins into your system. Now, the experts on this feel that juicing using greens, helps to wash these out during one's fast. Having done this several times at HHI, I tend to agree. The fasts I do now also back this up.

On a final note, did a pretty pure reverse lap time on my ride today:
9:19
9:14
9:14
8:57
8:36

Pretty fast (different type of fast) times considering the wind today.

And one more final note... To R and T, you really are not nice people. I write this in cyber space and not to your face as I don't want to cause any trouble. However, I really want this in type somewhere for it has to be said, you are both lacking in moral fiber. I hope you get into synagogue and do a little soul searching. You are both very far from pure and yes, your shit does stink. In fact, I can smell it from here in Israel.

May Insignificance Highlight This Year

2009-09-18T23:32:00.003+03:00

Well...my greatest message this year is the hope that the truly significant health issues in your lives will be insignificant. That those worries, you know the ones that wake-you up from your sleep and leave you staring at the ceiling for hours. Well, I hope those worries are insignificant too. May your fights with friends, family, and loved ones be...well you've guessed it-insignificant. In fact may FOX, CNN, BBC, Al Jazerra and all the other networks that beam into my t.v. here in Israel, make a concerted effort to have truly, truly insignificant news to report and instead focus on some of the significant beauty in this world, or really schmaltzy stories with happy endings. May insignificance reign. Shana Tova...Jamie

Sneakers and Body Bags

2009-09-11T19:36:00.003+03:00

When we drove past you this morning
All we saw were the body bags
Filled now with your remains
Laying black upon the road

We saw your sneakers
Strewn haphazardly
Collected in haste
To give back to your family

Body bags and sneakers
On the highway at rush hour
The two of you killed
On your motorcycles

Where were you going?
What had you planned for today?
The news report we heard
On our cell phone while waiting in line-
Gave no details
No clue
Of who you were
Or anything to shed a light
On this resting place you had found

Even now I can't find information
And this troubles me
For I want to know something
About your loss
-And that of your families-
To perhaps understand
What is always so elusive

But it will change nothing
For as the police waved me by
As I merged to the right
As your bodies filled the left lane
The road opened up
And we accelerated away
Until the only thing I saw in
My rear view mirror
Were other cars
Already forgetting
Your two young bodies
And the stories that you held.

Happy Birthday Dad

2009-09-05T06:07:00.002+03:00

Dad you died in 1984 but I never forget your birthday. You'd be old now had you survived, but I am sure you'd be one of those wise old men who have so many important things still to say. I dedicate today's bike ride to you. Happy birthday like you made all of mine so happy. The cakes you sent to me at Arizona State with Pumpkins paw prints on them (geeze that always made me laugh) were always eaten so quickly by those on my dorms. You always made a big deal out of b-days and one day, we really need to splice those old movies so that we can view them again. Okay...time to go. J

Time

2009-08-04T22:05:00.001+03:00

I can’t even imagine you staring down time with a loaded gun
For your have played with sand dials your entire life
And calculated your days by the position of the sun and the moon
Living your life deep in that cave of a home with its dirty windows
Shaded by one lonely oak tree that finally fell last summer
During a thunderstorm that threw hail the size of ping pong balls
Onto your roof.

You even tried to take everything that we had to offer and then asked for more
Unfazed by your avarice and how it appeared when the evening news
Came and did that interview with you for being so “quirky” as they put it
Those stone flamingos on your lawn and stack of gumballs you had piled a story high
Were front page

So we are pulling the plug and moving on to Arizona or Hawaii
Don’t look us up for we are changing numbers and maybe our names
You are on your own in that grotto of yours
And we are now wishing luck
But I am leaving you a watch.

2009-08-01T12:51:00.003+03:00

Leaving Ithaca

Just leaving Ithaca
With gorges of slate
And waterfalls of summer
Fed by torrential rains
Scattered through the hillsides
Buried deep in the land

Just leaving Ithaca
Riding on a bike
Pulling out a hand drawn map
Which I read as I ride
Riding a steel framed bike
Slowly up the impossibly steep hills
And laughing on the roller coaster
Rides down

Just leaving Ithaca
In the early morning rain
Hanging my camera over Taughanook
And thinking that 215 feet of free falling water
Is just a number
Just a superlative
For sublime beauty, on a day of rain and mist
Is without number

Just leaving Ithaca
Heading south on Route 81
Hearing the cries at Gettysburg
Passing strip malls
And strip mines
Hills with coal seeping black
Anthracite pits and tourist towns

Just leaving Ithaca
And an Eco Village
With old friends
Gardens of flowers
Berries getting summer ripe
Vegetables on raised beds
Smothered in compost
Bumper stickers on cars
That remind me of
Raised beds of morality-
Smothered perhaps even more in compost

Just leaving Ithaca
And a long summer on the road
So distant from the last one
Yet always on my mind
Always lurking somewhere
Just to the Middle East
Thankful for another summer
Another day
Beating rain on our tent
Waves breaking on Lake Ontario
Rivera sunsets
Leaving Ithaca

Leftovers

2009-07-07T20:29:00.004+03:00

We are putting on the miles
Flying over Alps
Across oceans
Lofting over air pockets
Going white knuckled here and there
Staying in-doors when the temps
Get too hot
Wandering down alleys of ancient cities
Listening to thunder storms rumble in the mountains

A year ago I thought that it all had
Been taken away
But here I am
Here we are
Again on some adventure
Sitting in cafes
Or on the beach
Or in a forest
Climbing roads to castles
Or highways to health clinics
Drinking wheatgrass and trying to eat RAW
Walking faster than ever
Riding harder than before
Leaving gleanings for the G-ds
Morsels
Leftovers

Stealing Dreams

2009-06-09T21:58:00.001+03:00

Tell me your dream
Tell it to me in black and white
With black and white flowers
Whose petals are not withered
Whose petals are fresh as virgin winds
Blowing hot in Utah's Canyonlands

Show me your dream
Show me where it will take you
Let me imagine it for myself
So that I can smell those Bermuda flowers
From miles out at sea
Before land even crests the horizon

Hand me your dream
Let me hold it tightly to my chest
Squeeze it till I cry
So that my tears will in some way come to symbolize
This dream so out of reach
Yet so real-
That it has no choice
Then to become my own.

Race in Meggido

2009-04-15T06:43:00.000+03:00

Oh gosh...the extra large shirt is blowing in the wind slowing me down and giving me a ballon like look! No matter, was a fun race and I was actually focused (at least at this point) as the look might suggest. J

Forrest Blowing in the Wind

2009-04-07T16:31:00.001+03:00

Morning Ride

2009-04-07T12:49:00.002+03:00

Oh, the times were really good today. Did a bit over 36 miles on and off road at a high intensity most of the way. Also did 8 sprints (scheduled in two-minute clips) lasting 30 seconds each. My times on the 2.6 mile course, that I do five times at the start, were well below the 9 minute mark that I aim for. In fact, of late my times were around 9:15 to 9:30 per lap. The new bike and forks make a huge difference. Also, the tubeless tires, which have less air and grab the corners much better, are unbelievably fast. Thus, I did decreasing times, all under 9 minutes, for the first time in years. Here are the times:
8:58
8:45
8:40
8:38
8:24

Should always be that fast!

For You

2009-04-05T21:27:00.001+03:00

Please note:

I received your threatening letter today
And put some acid in your hair spray
So that when you wake-up in the morning
And see the bald places on your pate
You’ll know I was there.

I received your threatening letter today
And called your brother to read it to him
So that we could discuss
How utterly insane you had finally become
So the straitjacket in the box
That will arrive at noon
Is really for you.

I received your threatening letter today
And found myself laughing out loud
Because I always suspected this was who you were
And all of your meanness is not as bad
As the hornet nest we’ve planted under your bed.

I received your threatening letter today
And at first was a bit intimidated
By how evil you really are:
But I’ve laughed
Given you acid
Helped you into a straitjacket
And have given you nasty welts
So at least you now know how I feel
After receiving your threatening letter today.

Evelyn’s Porch

2009-04-01T23:58:00.001+03:00

Evelyn wore turquoise on the night they took her away
And even her ceramic dog seemed to shed a tear
When the car drove off and the candles were lit

The tangerine marshmallows that she roasted
On her front porch last summer
Still sat in her cupboard where I would find them
Fastened tight with a blue clothespin
But filled with ants that had managed
To work their way in through the one small hole
On the bottom of the bag

We loved Evelyn and her strange wolf like laugh
We loved her for her bowlegged stance
And piercing blue eyes
That screamed: “Don’t mess with me or I’ll cut your balls off”
Her sardonic outlook on yesterday’s news
And refusal to conjecture on any future events
She stood her ground and made you retreat
Out of respect more than fear
Out of a desire to acquiesce rather than provoke

Everyone knew where she lived and even strangers
Would come by and give their regards
As if Evelyn was a dignitary of regal descent
A retinue of friends would sit deep into the night
On her porch drinking Thunderbird mixed in lemonade
Bathed in a deep purple neon light
From a sign on her wall that said, “Home”

There I sat too with friends and
Strangers who wandered by
Smoking cigars so that all you saw
Was the orange glow in their faces
That at times looked more like
Cyclopean fantasies of youth
Than people who were just sitting for awhile
Listening to Evelyn opine about biscuits
Or her sore ankles and back

We brought her flowers and helped her cut her grass
Pruned her bushes and painted over her porch
Each spring
Replaced the rotted wood
Patched the screening
Giving it a quilt like look
Though from a distance
You would never know

Evelyn got old on that porch
As we all did

My brother’s harp could still be heard
After the car that took Evelyn
Vanished round the one turn in our road
That led from our cluster of homes

When night descended again
We drank another round of Thunderbird
And one stranger leaned forwards
Blowing a cloud of smoke
That slowly rose towards the
Neon light
Blurring out the blinking word, “Home”
For just an instance-
Then we let the silence
Fill us all.

Get Off Your Butt!

2009-03-28T18:08:00.003+03:00

Wow! What a week. E's test results are great! We have so much to be thankful for and I could not ask for more. Of course, of course, of course I realize this is no guarantee, no miracle, no nothing. Cancer is ever so dangerous and ever so pernicious. Just when you get the least bit comfortable... But I/we can't live like that so live will go on (though filled with wheatgrass and other wonderful green drinks and as much RAW food as the stomach can handle).

Had a student tell me off for telling her that throwing garbage was something she should address. She informed me that I drive an SUV (geeze, I also ride my bike to work twice a week too but I guess she missed that), which I do to protect myself from the insanity on the highways here and also to avoid traffic as I go through the fields whenever I can get out of the long lines. Whatever, I dedicate the following link, which is a story from the current Runners World on Matt Long who got dragged under a bus in NY. What a tough guy who just has no quit in him. We could all learn a bit from him (as I surely can too!):

Photos of me riding on Friday in Ramat gan as a storm blew but never quite came in to rain on me! New frame on bike (and lots of new parts too).

2009-03-28T17:43:00.000+03:00

2009-03-25T21:09:00.002+02:00

But if I keep going against the wind
Keep testing my toes over the rim
Then I am sure to fall

Sure to fall where no one will hear
The soft thud
Then the ensuing silence
As another sunrise
Goes from blue, to red, to day

It's spring and things are good
So why think about the rim
It is better just to let the sun
Do its morning dance
While I stand soldier like
Watching large holes in the ground
Collect light as they always have
Filling in their shadows and edges
While clouds of unearthly
Early morning color
Drift aimlessly.

If ya click...it will get bigger showing my ugly mug! Jamie

2009-03-25T21:06:00.001+02:00

Trivial and Real

2009-03-19T23:28:00.004+02:00

I like the sound of your voice
The way it wakes me from my afternoon sleep
Or calls me on the phone in the middle of a class
Like tonight when we drove home
And you chose all the stores on Hertzl Street
With goodies you wanted me to buy for you
If you were ever in the hospital again-
Things that I could easily afford
Others that I couldn't
Trivial and real
Sitting side-by-side
Like that spot on Meron
During that first date

I like the sound of your voice
In a world too short
In a world too loud
This place where co-workers you've known for years
Have so little real to say
And can only shoot you up like tetanus shots
Unable to mainline you with anything significant
Cotton candy and dandruff

I like the sound of your voice
Even when I say I don't
For it fills that void
That any honest man admits he has
And thinking about a world
That could exist without you
Has kept me up so many nights
These past eight months
I just like the sound of your voice.

Only Clouds and Rock

2009-03-18T22:16:00.003+02:00

So I think I can see
The rocks and rainbow colors
Of Mizpe as a dream

But I fool myself

For this crater
This big hole in the ground
Is too complex
Too old
Too convoluted in time
For a simpleton like me
To grasp

And what I end up seeing
Is nothing more than clouds and rock

(p.s. Click on the photo...it gets big and really nice! J.M. The Simpleton)

2009-03-17T20:14:00.006+02:00

My friends says
That all the colors in the Rainbow
All the ice in the sea
All the rabbits in that
Obscure trilogy that I would never read-
Don't exist

He cleans pools on hot summer mornings in Denver
Looking towards the foothills of the Rockies
Waiting for the evening thunderstorm
To come rumbling to his doorstep
While he watches a ballgame and
Chugs down his third beer of the night
Calling me between innings to give me the score
Bitching how players today...

Last year we went camping in the desert
When the moon came up and lit the ground
-Like a crazy miner's headlamp-
It illuminated the Hoodoos that surrounded our site:
We heard the report of a pistol somewhere miles away
A shooting star blazed in the sky losing itself in the horizon
While my friend played softly on his harmonica

Sometimes I think the most perfect days
-The ones that you look back on-
The ones that stick in you like a splinter from a boardwalk
Are those filled with indelible images and sounds
We just forget the rest.

Poo Poohing

2009-03-03T20:40:00.003+02:00

Some say the theories
Some say the plans
Get lost in muddle
Blown in the sand
Delivered to Vegas to perform in a show
Hitch up with hookers
But then have to go.

Consigned to your basement
Where they mold and decay
Get taken to yard fairs
At the end of the day
Are auctioned by barkers
In carnival shows
End up back in the basement
Where nobody knows.

The doctors with drugs
That they shoot in your veins
Tell you the studies are valid
They cure you or kill you
It's all just the same
For it's theory you know
That really matters

But I am wandering and struggling
With what I really meant to say
I am going nowhere with my blather
I am drifting and shipwrecked
Throwing up on the quay
Looking for words I might gather.

2009-03-01T19:16:00.001+02:00

Whoa
Stretch that smile
Any tighter
And you are going to
Take all the creases
Out of your face

Not That Smart X

2009-02-27T22:35:00.005+02:00

Sitting in a meeting today
Discussing what needs to be discussed
Or perhaps not discussed but who is to say?
We got round to the crux of the matter
And decided that X was "Not that smart"

I cringe when we wrap our children in IQ blankets
Sugar them up with psych reports
Toast them in our files for their Schooling

I am not a person who feels that Smart is limited
To schooling
For we are always being schooled
Everyday we live
And if smart is that time from 8-3
Or standardized CAT or SAT
Then call me Stupid

For Smart to me is going forwards
Taking chances
Making changes
Heading out to the highway with a backpack and a plan
Going places with a notebook and a pen
To write poetry
Or just a few lines
In a tattered diary
That your dad gave to you
Right before he died.

Elixir

2009-02-27T05:52:00.003+02:00

We all tend to look
For the magic elixir
Be it in a drug
Religion
Or a way in which we eat

I've stopped looking
For one that gives life
My quest is more focused
On the day-to-day

Getting up at 5 is so tough
Sometimes
And this early morning
Rain made me rush to the line
Yank the clothing off
So it wouldn't be soaked
As I drenched my arm-
In cold
Still not yet awake-

Today's elixir

6%

2009-02-25T22:07:00.002+02:00

Seems to me
And now my blue collar side is gonna show
That the stimulus plan
Is not as stimulating
As it sounds by the man
Who articulates
His plans with such acumen
That the sweet honey I put into my morning drink
Tastes almost bitter in comparison

With sports stars making millions and millions
Corporation heads making even more
And politicians clogging our arteries with junkets-
I start thinking of the
French Revolution

Please pass the cake.

2009-02-24T21:11:00.000+02:00

Extra

2009-02-24T21:01:00.004+02:00

Fill in the gaps if you get the chance
And don't let the edges stay sharp
Sand them down
Till they are smooth and rounded
Call me when you get this done
So that I can test it out.

I like my corners rounded
My edges smooth
And a few trial runs completed
Before you ever call me over.

Laughter Menu

2009-02-24T20:47:00.003+02:00

I am still laughing
-one of those roiling laughs that starts from deep in the gut and works its way out-
At my baboon faced dog
Who took my place
On the trampoline
After I finished jumping

I am still laughing
-a kind of subtle laugh-
At my baboon faced dog
Who dragged five toys
Around me as I lay sleeping
On the couch

I am still laughing
-until the tears run down my eyes-
At my baboon faced dog
As she wakes me at 3 in the morning
With a few jabs to my face
To take her for a walk

She has got me on a menu of Laughs:
A kind of RAW foods
Atavistic diet
That we are spreading
Salve like in our house
Medicinal and curing
She's got me laughing.

Sons of Beaches

2009-02-22T22:07:00.002+02:00

Quiet
For the waves are
Really breaking today
As the storm
That was a storm
That was not a storm
And is back to being a storm
Lingers outside my window

And here I am comparing storms
To politicians
Who are back again
From the shadows
Prison cells
Virtual obscurity
To reign in the rain

So I search for some cliches
And a few plays on words
To get me laughing
As the sons of beaches
Take their evening strolls
And get blurred in
My long exposures

Beach Ghosts

2009-02-22T22:06:00.000+02:00

Convergence

2009-02-21T06:36:00.002+02:00

This morning the skies are banging loud
Thunder and lightening
Almost converge
Balls of hail clog the gutters

It's Saturday
-Normally a quiet day-
With thunder and lightening
Playing with each other
In some type of harmony.

Finding The Future (Thanks Mr. T)

2009-02-20T15:50:00.003+02:00

I've lost it
Found it
Packaged it
Time and again
Till it got worn
Tattered
Like good jeans
On bad days

Just the thought
Of facing it
Sends shivers
and chills in a blind array
Across and through my body

Quebec winds
Blowing fierce
Across the Plains of Abraham
Give me my
Old insulated boots
Before I go to sleep tonight
My flashlight
And a good map
Nothing will stop me
If I've got those things.

2009-02-19T15:17:00.002+02:00

I can see the storm as it sits so heavy off on the Med
See it wafting its way
Ever so slowly
Over the fields where I'll soon be riding home
Tempting me
Taunting me
Just daring me

But I am coming
Changing my clothing
From teacher to biker to adventurer
Of Tel Aviv roads
Daredevil
Fool
Waiting for the storm

Tour Guiding...and My Birthday

2009-02-16T12:29:00.003+02:00

So now I must be a "tour guide" after organizing my first adult and family tour (24 people).

We went south and day one started at Sde Boker in the Negev. There is now a well-marked trail system and for he illiterate in Hebrew like me, a detailed map in English can now be purchased. Don't have a mountain bike? Well, one can rent at the fine shop there as well and get some advice in regards to the trail system they have marked.

After this, we went to my friend's place after dumping our things at the new cyclist hotel in Mizpe Ramon. My friend makes gourmet chocolate and also is now marketing perfume (I have done the product shots and will alert you all when these are public). All were happy with his wonderful hot chocolate that was served in a cup and ladle filled with cream. The little kids sat in a room and feasted, while the adults (we did this in two groups), participated in a question answer session on chocolate and perfume.

Let's talk dinner: The dinner at the Ibike hotel was outstanding. I am so impressed with the care put into this and the portions were immense (well you need this after riding of course). The kids had a great play area and the adults were as content on a trip as one could be with 24 people- 1/2 of them being under the age of 5!

The rooms at the hotel were basic, but they were very nice. However, the idea by the owners is to get people out of their rooms and into a space that can be shared by all. No t.v. or radio, but some nice background music. This, of course, actually promotes interaction and people played with their kids while others talked amongst themselves. Of course, by the end of the evening a portible DVD player pacified the kids, but that's fine as I love a good movie too. Unlike last week when I went with a group of Israeli riders and the elections were but days away, most of the conversation (not all), veered away from heated political debates. This is wise as we all perceive our truths based on a myriad of experiences that no two people end up sharing.

After dinner a small group of us went into the crater, parked the car, and then stared into the sky which was covered deep and thick in stars and the cloudy Milky Way was clear as a bell (now that's an oxymoron). We all got to observe several shooting stars and one extraordinary one buzzed us. Had we been quiet, I am sure we would have heard the sizzling sound a particle makes when passing through our atmosphere (though scientifically this is not true, I swear I've heard it!). Here is a link to read more about shooting stars.

Early, really early, the next morning three of us left the hotel (after I set off the alarm of course), and headed to a place 11.3 KM away to watch the sunrise. We actually got there early! It was cold, and I was not well-prepared. Thus, after a short stay in my jeep, I set up the tripod and froze throughout the photo session. Not a great sky (the photo here is from another trip), but some nice lighting to the rock. On our way back, we saw hundreds of officers involved in a 10K run. The first group was flying and I have a few photos I will try and post.

A nice ride followed in the crater (oh, I forgot breakfast but I think I've already made it clear the food at Ibike is great), and my friend Gabby, who accompanied us on this trip and is a geologist, gave some wonderful insight into this area. The crater is a geological wonder and thank-G-d it is protected.

Nice trip and it truly went as well as one could ever imagine. So, perhaps I should be a tour guide though even this small two-day trip wiped me out!

Today is my birthday, and I have already done a lot for others. I am making a new recipe that I will share with E when she finally (after two-months of not seeing her), returns on Saturday. I have scrubbed clean all of Forrest's toys. I have never seen a dog love toys more than she does, and it's so much fun to see how enthusiastic she is in her play and demeanor. She is so full of life, so naive, such a sweet dog. Oh, how I miss Candoush, but this little monster (she does like to eat furniture and I am not sure that bladder control is her strong point), is a blast to have in our place. I know she'll bring E so much joy.

Okay...time to do some more things. Online photo session tonight to work on more black and white skills. Keep learning all and keep trying to be your best.

After The Fall...

2009-02-01T23:23:00.000+02:00

Tripod fell with Nikon D3 and 14-21 attached. Camera was fine (it's a tank) and lens glass was fine (I have no idea how the rocks did not break it but the side took the blow), however the smoothness of this huge lens is gone Hopefully they can work on this. However, here's the photo right after the fall that I took. It's of Sde Boker after my bike ride. Some nice end of day lights with such anger and sadness at my stupidity for letter the tripod fall and not being more careful. J

Mystic Harbor

2009-02-01T23:20:00.000+02:00

Fun to go back to childhood places and see how beautiful they really were. Mystic...

2009-02-01T23:18:00.000+02:00

2009-01-29T05:31:00.001+02:00

Captain John Warner

2009-01-28T21:59:00.001+02:00

Captain John Warner is buried in Wethersfield, Connecticut. This historic graveyard on a cold winter's day, is one of the most wonderful to travel about thinking about these individuals who lived in the 1600's and 1700's. I think about the struggle they had with England back then, and I think about the utter fear and anger the Native Americans at that time (and still today) must have felt. Like I said, it was a cold winter's day.

J

A Handful of Winter Photos

2009-01-28T21:51:00.000+02:00

For Gabby

2009-01-28T21:11:00.003+02:00

When I grow my own wheatgrass, it tastes okay. I'd never use the word "good" for juiced grass for I am not a horse/cow/or other bovine creature. However, when I think about what wheatgrass does for one, it is truly worth it. So...drink up. J

Here in Florida

2008-12-19T23:10:00.002+02:00

Eva and I are here in Florida. Without saying too much, for she does not want me to say too much, we/she is doing great! She is spending three weeks at Hippocrates Health Institute which is an amazing place for one to deal with any and all illnesses, and I am doing their two-week course.

Essentially, we are learning to eat, prepare and even grow (as I already do) "living foods." I have been learning (before I came here as well), how to use a dehydrator, make green drinks, and utilize a blender (I am using a Vitamix). We have truly changed so many things in our diet and I have lost about 20 pounds without much effort (well, I do cook a lot more but I am not suffering). I am learning that you don't "cure" cancer, but in fact you can learn to live with it if you follow dietary guidelines. I am also finding that our foods are so full of things that are catastrophically toxic to us, and that we must learn to read labels (and that means in the so called health stores as well) and change our habits to live a healthy life (notice I did not say a long life for I truly don't believe that this ensures one of that). Okay...Enough preaching.

On another note, I am now photographing with a Nikon D3. Hopefully, I will have some pics for this blog when I get back to Israel on Jan. 9. I hear there is snow in Connecticut, hope to see some of that when I arrive there on the 29.

To my friends, happy Hanukkah and merry Christmas. Enjoy the new year as well and may you all find your happiness.

I toast to you all (with wheatgrass of course!)...Jamie and Eva

Recession?

2008-10-17T00:40:00.002+02:00

It's funny, well not really funny I suppose, that here we are in a recession (or call it what you want) and Manny is asking for 25 million in L.A. If he does not get this, he's gonna go a shopping. What kind of world do we live in please tell me when athletes need/get this kind of money? Where is all this excess money even coming from? How can so many people be living on the edge when so many people have money like this? I realize all about capitalism and the wonders of it, but isn't there a point where it's just vulgar?

Cousin Karen is coming Saturday from N.Y. In my 18 years here in Israel, she will be the first relative to get together (from my side) with us. I am thrilled as I love my cousins and wish that we had a true family tree that functioned. We don't, but at least Karen is coming.

Monica, Eva's sister, is also coming. We will have a new dog in the house and I am sure this will only bring joy to our lives. I miss my strong, smart and stubborn wonder dog Candy and even lit a candle for her on Yom Kippur (hope this was okay with the powers that be). I still leave a light on for her occasionally as I always want her to know that this house is her house and her spirit is welcome any time. I miss her.

K sent me a link to a write-up on our dear mutual friend who died over a year ago of cancer. It sent electric pulses through my body to read about her and I miss her as well. I know, I know, I know that we need to hold tightly to what we have at the moment, but somehow I forget to do this at times. Then when what you want to hold so tightly to is lost forever, you wish you had it back. Thus, the bike rides and all the dedications that I make on them is one method of never forgetting and always rekindling the memory of dear friends, or donating my cerebral mush to those still with us now and thanking them for their love and friendship.
Chag Samach all. J

2008-10-01T22:09:00.001+03:00

2008-10-01T20:33:00.001+03:00

701

2008-10-01T19:05:00.004+03:00

In celebration of my 701st post, I will steal a quote from Michael Johnston (www.woodsongs.com).

"...for oceans of time in one more day." Wow! What a line. It's simple but cuts to the chase and says what all of us who have relationships that we treasure, with lovers, friends, and animals that mean/meant so much to us. Let the waves start rolling.

And why the military helicopter photo you ask? Me too! Just using some new blog features that make uploading so much easier and that's what came up. Blame this on Blogspot.

2008-09-29T17:05:00.001+03:00

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
Bob Dylan

Okay...Is this easier to say after you have tons of money?

Shana Tova

2008-09-28T21:37:00.002+03:00

Oh, it has been a tough time here for us, but we are persevering and getting healthy. May this new year find us strong and free of what we need to be free of for years and years to come. May this find all of you healthy and in communication with those you love the most. Life is damn short and there are so many wonderful things to live and fight for so don't close your mouth. Don't give in to the stupids who flock like seagulls on the back of the ferry heading out to the Vineyard. Don't arm yourself with senseless weapons and hate. Fight for the environment and things of beauty. Buy photographs and other works of art that inspire you, or better yet, take or make pieces of art that bring you peace and tranquility. Listen to all genres of music, but never forget classical music which answers so many questions even if you never asked them. Donate your time and donate your money. Teach kids to teach themselves. Shana Tova/Happy New Year. Jamie and others...

Images of Gaspe

2008-07-23T09:47:00.000+03:00

On Being Boring

2008-07-02T15:05:00.002+03:00

I am going to try and be more boring and not criticize others or find fault with things I just can't change. Jamie

2008-06-26T09:20:00.001+03:00

“A Poet”

On the day that his dog died

He felt like the air had been

Sucked clean out of his lungs

And after sitting unable to move

He began to go through the motions

Of going on and getting over

But each night, for the next seven days

He turned on a light

And left a bowl of water

In the places where

There had been light

And there had been water

For his dog before she died.

When he told this story

To a group of people where he worked

He heard one whisper and say

“Oh…Now he must be a poet”

And he thought to himself

“No…I’ve always been a poet”

And smiled at this

For having never told them.

A Dylan Song?

2008-05-26T08:57:00.002+03:00

Someone sent this Utube link to me today and it's supposed to be a Dylan song. I did not ever view Dylan as pro Israel. Why do I find this hard to believe? Regardless, I am attaching it here:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WlHlXHimo_g

After a bit though I did some searches and found this was a 1983 song on an album called Infidel. I also read some bitter commentary about his portraying Israel as an underdog since we are funded by the U.S. and others in this region are essentially fighting the U.S. and not us alone. Oh, how I love politics...

Correction...

2008-05-25T20:12:00.003+03:00

Here is the camp that Wavy Gravey helps to sponsor: http://www.campwinnarainbow.org/ I stand corrected. J

It's Funny

2008-05-25T19:53:00.003+03:00

Just watched a show on the Hippies on the movie channel. As a 60's child I was too young to really join this movement, but from a distant, I never respected those I saw in it very much for their worship more of drug (my point of view) than content. Yes, they raised awareness about the war. Yes, they might even be responsible for the small environmental movement that exists today (and it is small for we are crapping up our planet by the majority who live on it). I always felt that if these were people who really cared, really wanted to use their brains, they would have worshiped that mass upon our shoulders and learned as much as they could and did something more important than dropping LSD and showing us that they could live in a communal manner without mommies and daddies money (which they also could not do-most at least). I knew then that they were selling us out.

So, what's so funny?

One individual was a man named Wavy Gravey. I looked him up on Wikepedia (where all historical scholars like myself go-ha), and found that he went to my high school. I then went to his site and found that he still has a good message, but that he is merchandising his past as if what he did was so Nobel Prize like. Not sure where his profits are going so I don't want to insult him. I am hoping he gives to good causes. I wonder if he gave to Oxfam? Perhaps we should ask. Jto

Giving To China

2008-05-20T22:35:00.001+03:00

Here is the proper Oxfam link to give money and help to those in China. Again, I realize China is a powerhouse, but even a powerhouse needs support services at times. Thus, I gave a bit and if we all did, at a time like this, then it will come back to us one day in one form or another.
Or so I believe. J

https://donate.oxfamamerica.org/02/china

China Syndrome

2008-05-20T21:41:00.002+03:00

Not that China is so poor, but they do need help and need it quickly. Thus, I suggest all of us give something to Oxfam in order to help them do their job and make us feel like we are doing something. I just got a letter from a Chinese friend too, and she has asked for our prayers. Give them. J

2008-05-19T20:43:00.001+03:00

Another Chapter to this Story

Putting distance between you and your hurt. Does the impregnation of time help in any which way to assuage one’s pain? No, I am not lamenting on the loss of Candy for I am far too wise and too old to let my life stop for the loss of something that I loved, something that had lived so long and given to us so much. I am talking about those hurts in life that accrue with time and obstruct our ability to process the present; tarnishing our capacity to process the future.

I don’t want another dog. I looked at the face of a beautiful miniature collie while in Tel Aviv this afternoon after work. He/she was at a crosswalk with his/her owner/companion. I looked at how damn innocent this dog was looking at the person taking him/her for a walk and it was the innocence that hurt me. There was a loved muddled with a dependency that carries a weight heavier than I think I can handle again. I don’t think that I am strong enough to have something so kind and innocent love me to that degree. I suppose, that it is more than the burden of being this needed or wanted, it is my fear that I don’t think I really deserve this.

This is an imperfect world and it’s supposed to be that way. Even our spin on a tilted axis has a bubble built into it. Plates are shifting all the time with horrific results like that in Sichuan. News of too many friends of late who have to deal with deep conflict in their lives is getting more difficult to process. I am getting Emails telling me of heart attacks of those I have known (Ronnie you were a good man) and others with ailments that are life threatening. Yet when I write about these things, some who have read this blog call my wife to tell her that Jamie’s writing is so negative. I apologize for this, but if you’ve read this many year’s work in its entirety, there’s a lot of “good” stuff I hope to balance this out. However, the fact remains, that this is an imperfect world.

Yet, and I’ll work this in here though it might not seem logical at this point - it’s all about the story. You see, our lives are filled with these stories and if we live, if we exist, if we take risks and do the global nomad dance in our travels and in our friendships, then we’re going to have a lot of stories, a lot of laughs and a lot of pain. I sometimes think the people who don’t want to read about the lows in life, are truly the ones who never experience the real highs. They just plow along at half-speed working at their 9-5’s and gravitating to the norm. Sorry, no way no how on this end. I am going to fly down mountains and hold my dog tight until the end telling her about the fun she’ll have in heaven playing with my late nephew and sitting on my father’s lap. And then I’ll write about it. I’m going to make my wife nuts with my music and my antics and then think about her when she’s fast asleep at night knowing that I truly have a best friend and that whatever happens is just going to happen and fuck the logic of it all it just is. I am going to love my friends and have a slew of “brothers and sisters” scattered around the globe who really are not related to me. And I’ll do Native American whoops of joy when things go well for them and scream loudly at the stars when sadness enters their lives. It’s all a chapter in this story.

2008-05-17T12:23:00.000+03:00

Bucks Stop Here

2008-05-17T12:22:00.000+03:00

I kind of envision a large Buck (deer) stopping at a bar and hoisting one in respect, acknowledgement or just some pre-inebriated salute. Must have fallen to be thinking this.

Had a parent yesterday denounce our school, me, and the criteria we use to evaluate their kid who, quite frankly, is doing jack in our system. Isn’t it funny how divorce, huge sums of income, hubris, and general arrogance have a trickle down effect to the children in a family?

Life without Candy has been different. The house is so quiet and every now and then I leave her light on attempting to convey somewhere deep into the spirit world that I’d like her ghost to make a visit and stop by. I miss her acrid smell that actually always brought me comfort. I miss her arrogance and somewhat schizo personality.

Okay, 8 photos of mine will appear in a photo book of Connecticut. I’ll post the address for those who MIGHT want a copy of this book. Some new photos on the way too. I’ll include a flower from the desert right here! Careful of the Bucks-can’t trust ‘em.